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ATTENTION ALL AMERICAN
MEN & WOMEN AGED 16-45:
Pursuant to Sub-Section 8, Paragraph C of Executive Branch Classified Directive #13334-P, dated 1 May 2004, the Armed
Forces of the United States stand directed by President George W. Bush to accelerate preparations for compulsory induction of the adult non-homosexual
population into active combat duty in the War Against Terror.
Henceforth, and in accordance with established Federal conscriptional provisions, all male and female citizens aged 16-45
must register for the impending draft. Each registrant's personal information will undergo rigorous computer analysis
to compile a profile of overall physical, mental, and moral fitness prior to the issuing of orders to report for basic training.
WARNING: Persons failing to register prior to the impending invasions of Iran and North Korea will be
classified as deserters and become subject to the penalties prescribed therefore by the Rules and Articles of War, up
to and including incarceration for a period not to exceed fifteen (15) calendar years and fines up to $125,000.00.
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CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR?
You must apply to
schedule a formal appeal to your local draft board.
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